DON’T READ IF YOU’RE FROM MINSK!

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[In connection with media coverage and trending blog posts (here’s a particularly good one) about the new Viagra-like pill for women designed to arouse where no arousal was — I submit the following.  It arrived at our house via email from a lively ninety-year old acquaintance of Bill’s (male, naturally), as a joke between two old guys.  Apologies to any aggressively feminist readers who may be offended.  Actually, Bill found it less funny than I did.  But then he alleges his second wife was from Minsk.  I myself never heard of the place.]

WISE RABBI

The only cow in a small village in Poland stopped giving milk. The villagers did some research and found they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles or one from Minsk for 500 rubles. Being frugal, they purchased the cow from Minsk.

The cow proved wonderful. She produced lots of milk all the time. The villagers were so happy they decided to acquire a bull to mate with her, so that she would give birth to more cows just like herself and they would never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They bought a handsome virile bull and put it to pasture with their beloved cow. He was certainly willing. However, whenever he came close to the cow, she moved away. No matter what approach the bull tried, he could not succeed in his quest to effect closure. Very upset, the villagers sought input from their wise Rabbi.

They explained it all to him in detail: “Whenever the bull approaches, our cow moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. If he approaches from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side? She just walks away to the other side.”

The Rabbi pondered this for a while. Then he asked,
“Did you buy this cow from Minsk ?”

The villagers were dumbfounded at the question since they had never once mentioned where the cow had come from.

“You’re truly a wise Rabbi,” they said. “How did you know we got the cow from Minsk ?”

The Rabbi answered sadly,  “My wife is from Minsk .”

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10 thoughts on “DON’T READ IF YOU’RE FROM MINSK!

    • Well duh, Isabelle. Didn’t I say up front that it was a joke between two old guys? But yes, Miami, Palm Springs, the strip running up Broadway on the Upper West Side. Wherever coming from Minsk is the Jewish version of a headache.

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  1. If the villagers would have talked to the Rabbi’s wife from Minsk, she might well have said that the Rabbi was hopelessly lacking in the necessary tumescence that would last more than thirty seconds. On top of that she found a stack of porn taped under his desk. He was into some light hand relief instead. Things are never that simple!

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    • A thoughtful reply to a different problem, Gerard. The issue with the cow and the Rabbi’s wife was not frustrated desire. It was lack of desire. (Yes, I know the first can eventually lead to the second, but somehow I think this joke IS simpler than that.) And if the FDA and the pharmaceutical industry think lack of desire in cows and wives from Minsk can be fixed with a pill they have several more thinks coming. “What do women want?” is the great question men keep asking each other, especially older men, as if it were a subject for Talmudic study. I hope younger men have begun asking that question of women, one by one — because each one of us is somewhat different, both physiologically and psychologically, in what turns us on.

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