[I suppose I could have captioned this post: “Loser.”  Or: “Don’t Say Yes When You Really Mean No.”  But I guess I’ll stick with the caption that’s right on point.  See above.

Thing is, I never learn.  When someone asks me to do something, I’ve still got this knee-jerk reaction of wanting to please.  Even if I have no time. Or have a hunch it might be a bad idea.  So when a fellow blogger with a following of thousands proposed, via email, that I contribute to a forthcoming series of guest posts and thereby be introduced to what she called her “peeps,” I hesitated instead of shaking my virtual head “no.” Asked for more information.

First mistake.  Judging by her own blog, I already knew we’d be a bad fit.  The promptly forthcoming information was that I write anything I wanted — “Be yourself” was the instruction — on the subject of “Beauty.”  The only restriction was to do it in no more than 500 words.  As they say in the old country, “Oy!”

Because another thing is (besides never learning), I hate abstractions.  Anyone who reads even a couple of my posts will soon realize there’s no use looking here for fine words on “Patriotism” or “Honor.”   I’m just a peasant. I even call spades shovels, to the extent decency permits.  So why didn’t I just take my ball and go home? Why was I cheerily typing (with sinking heart), “I’ll see what I can do.”  I did add the caveat, “Although I don’t think you’ll like it.”  Was I ever right!

Needless to say, you will not be reading my five hundred words on that other blog.  (If you read that other blog.)  There was real distress on receipt of my finished product. Suggestions for restructuring.  A request I try again. Ill advised words flying back and forth over the internet, revealing perhaps a too highly-strung person on one side, and on the other somebody eager to disentangle herself from the entire enterprise without too many hard feelings. In the hard feelings part, she failed.

However, since it was the other blogger’s generous suggestion, in the days before I actually wrote anything, that after my (not-yet-written) piece appeared on her blog, I could re-blog it on mine, I feel it’s sort of okay to use it without a first appearance elsewhere. Waste not, want not being the idea.  So here — for the first and last time anywhere (ta-da!) — are my rejected thoughts on Beauty with a capital “B” in exactly 496 words.  

Maybe somebody will like it.]



 An invitation to write about “Beauty?” Oh dear Ms. _____, you’ve got the wrong blogger. Not being a Greek philosopher or a nineteenth-century Romantic poet, I never use the word. It’s an abstraction – the Platonic Ideal of all the notions of what people here on earth have ever found pleasing to see, hear, touch, taste or feel. And being abstract, it doesn’t tell you a thing.

“She walks in beauty like the night/ Of cloudless climes and starry skies….” It sounds good – it should, it was a love poem — but what exactly did Byron mean by “beauty?” That the lady in question walked in a graceful manner pleasing to his eyes? As pleasing as looking up at a starry night sky without clouds? That doesn’t help much with what the lady looked like, does it? Or Keats: “Truth is Beauty, Beauty Truth.” Do you know more about the Greek vase that inspired those lines after reading those five words? (“Truth” with a capital “T” is just as bad as “Beauty,” but as I’ve been given only 500 words, I won’t go there.)

Then there are the clichés about “Beauty,” now worn so thin from overuse we have to stop and think what meaning they were originally intended to convey, if indeed we stop at all and don’t just brush them away with “Yeah, yeah.” “Beauty is only skin deep,” for instance. Or “Beauty is as Beauty does.” Both of these probably warn, “Just because you think she’s great looking doesn’t mean you’d like living with her!” Well, say so! Then perhaps whoever you’re talking to will listen, or at least argue back. Nor am I ever going to tell anyone besotted with another, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” – although it’s certainly more tactful than blurting out, “That’s your opinion, buddy. Personally, I don’t think she’s so hot.” In such an instance, best to say nothing, smile and move on to another subject.

The word “beautiful” is marginally better than “Beauty.” That’s because it almost always refers to something that actually exists. (Unless you’re speaking of someone’s soul, the existence of which being a question for another day.) But “beautiful” isn’t usually helpful either. I don’t want to hear the remote island where you’re vacationing is beautiful. Tell me what so aesthetically pleases you. Describe the pebbled beaches, the tavernas with checkered tablecloths along the waterfront, the small skiffs tied up at the shore but still bobbing gently on the blue water. Are the dark skies starry at night? Cloudless? (Just kidding.)

That said, there are exceptions to everything, including the strictures outlined above. I myself wouldn’t name a real horse or a cat “Beauty.” But if you want to, so be it. As for the word “beautiful,” if a man ever whispers in your ear that you’re beautiful, never mind that it’s not really descriptive. It means he loves you, at least for the moment. Be grateful.



  1. Linda Tharp

    Well done! A word like “beauty” is so completely arbitrary, but I like your last couple lines about the word “beautiful”–also an arbitrary word, until it comes from someone you love.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a really fine article; a pleasure to read, and aside from the fact that I had a few good smiles along the way, I agree with every word of it. Her loss, that she didn’t publish it. And a very good writing exercise too, to learn that you can say that much in 500 words. Bravo.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Let me also add that when I first started blogging I was asked to contribute on a rotating basis on another international blog with fabulous other women. I adored what they posted, but I had to re-work and re-work my own stuff to make it fit. I loved their site, but I bowed out after a few months. It just was not comfortable.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The whole guest blogging thing is confusing to me. In this case it sounds like asking somebody for an opinion and then shooting them down because it’s not the same as theirs. Her peeps are sheeps?
    Anyway, I like your post. It’s yours. It belongs here. It’s beautiful. 😄 xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’re absolutely right on the first point. As for the “peeps,” I believe she meant her “people,” the followers she shepherds — yes, perhaps like sheep.

      The comments on this post are becoming a virtual love-fest. I ❤ you, too!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Jools

    It’s a lovely, contemplative approach to the word, from someone to whom ‘beauty’ is about more than boob jobs and fake eyelashes. We read the blogs we read because we either identify with, or are challenged or informed by, the authors. This blogger’s approach to you seems like a mismatch of expectations and audiences to me, but I’m sorry to hear of the bad feeling that resulted.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Julie, for calling me “contemplative.” You’re also right about why we read the blogs we read. As for the bad feelings, trying to bow out gracefully apparently didn’t work in this instance. Rest assured I’m not the one who “unfollowed” the other. I guess we can’t win ’em all!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. First to clarify, when a guy says you are beautiful it’s usually a prelude to getting in your underwear. I did a few guest gigs and I’m very selective. Because I use humor that is occasionally sacrilegious it’s not always appreciated. Having said that, I have enjoyed the few times I have done it. I am not sure why this wasn’t to her liking. It’s an excellent post on beauty as you see it. Going along with other commenters, if you want someone who says the same thing as you, why would you invite a guest blogger with a different perspective?


    • Of course, the underwear! That’s what I meant by “at least for the moment.” Or, as I commented to Linda Tharp, above, it’s usually the gonads speaking. So we experienced ladies are all agreed!

      As to why the other blogger didn’t like it, it seems to me from her comments that either (a) she thought it disorganized; (b) she wasn’t sure of the point I was making; or (c ) I hadn’t given her readers a reason at the beginning of each paragraph to keep on reading. I mean, come on! And then she became deeply offended that I wasn’t sufficiently sensible of the great advantage I would gain by being exposed to her over 8,000 followers. But I think it was really the humor that got to her. It was her subject, after all, and she appears to be a highly sensitive person. I was not reverent. Well, we’ll know soon enough what sorts of posts passed muster and will appear. I believe the series (on “Beauty”) begins on or around Valentine’s Day. If we hunt for the tag around then, we shall see!

      By the way, I love how — to borrow her thinking for a moment — “my team” is on my side. (As well as a whole lot of new names I’ve never seen before.) I was on my side too, or I wouldn’t have posted it. But I must say I’m enjoying the team spirit!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Nina, you were not a worshiper of “beauty?” Oh, My! Strange how your “team” read every paragraph, smiled, chuckled and thoroughly enjoyed it! I wonder what kind of posts we’ll be reading? About beauty in a heart-shaped box of chocolates? About beauty in a bunch of flowers? About beauty in a night out with champagne & caviar? Jeeze…give me a break! I love your honest writing! Christine

    Liked by 1 person

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