My first serious boyfriend once made a large pen-and-ink drawing of the two of us at midnight on my mother’s living-room couch.  (He had recently graduated from The High School of Music and Art.)  His drawing shows him (the artist) at the end of the couch, sitting upright with one leg crossed over the other — fully dressed in jacket, shirt, tie and trousers, which were grey flannel if I remember correctly. And still wearing his glasses.

I am in the drawing, too.  I lie on my back, also fully dressed but without my glasses — seductively extended across all three seat cushions with the back of my head in his groin.  The caption, clearly intended to represent what was coming out of my mouth, read, “Why Can’t We Be Fun-Loving and Normal?”

This post is for anyone who has ever asked that question.  Credit, if she wants it, must go to a non-blogging friend of mine.  She is the wife of a psychiatrist.  And knows Bill is a psychiatrist.  She got it from someone I don’t know, who got it from someone else I don’t know. (Ah, the power of e-mail!)  This last someone may have gotten it from an unknown member of the American Psychiatric Association, who may be circulating it to all his, or her, friends and colleagues at this very moment. (Ah, the power of speculation!)

If you don’t like it, blame them.  Any or all of them.  That’s what the psychiatrically challenged do.

As for me, I’m out of here. See you tomorrow, when I will again try to be touching, melancholy and deep.

Christmas Carols/Songs for the Psychiatrically Challenged

Multiple Personality Disorder:  “We Three Queens Disoriented Are”

Dementia:  “I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas”

Narcissistic: “Hark!  The Herald Angels Sing About Me”

Manic: “Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and….”

Paranoid:  “Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me”

Borderline Personality Disorder: “Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire”

Personality Disorder:  “You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why”

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder:  “Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells….”

AND An Old Favorite (although not a song) — the Christmas Story for Non-Believers: “Coincidence on 34th Street”

Happy Holidays!  Healthy New Year to All!

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